Who doesn’t love a nice, relaxing massage? Manipulating the body’s tissues – rubbing, kneading, or tapping – with the hand or an instrument has long been known to soothe sore muscles and ease a troubled mind.
Men and women have been using oils and herbs to “assuage by massage” for over 5000 years. It has held a prominent position in Chinese medicine for 3000 years or more and was practiced by physicians.
Over the years, different styles and types of massage have developed in various parts of the world. Japan, Indian, and Greece all introduced new ways to perform this ancient healing activity.
Body & Mind mentions seven benefits of massage therapy:
• Stress reduction
• Lowers blood pressure
• Relaxes muscles
• Improves circulation
• Improves posture
• Bolsters the body’s immune system
Although it might be argued that the best massage comes from another person, it can also be said that any massage is better than no massage. In the never-ending quest for on-demand, do-it-yourself treatment options, here are five new massage tools that might fit your “kneads” (ouch):
1. Massaging Computer Mice. “The Muscle Mouse is a computer mouse that doubles up as a back massager.” A built-in Electrical Muscle Stimulator (EMS) upgrades this ordinary optical mouse to your best friend at work.
Attach the wired EMS pads to the mouse and get a massage at your desk. Move the pads to any part of your body – discretely, of course.
2. Foam Healing Hands. With this clever gadget, you can come home from a hard day at work and head to the pink molded fold hands to rest and massage your head and neck.
Using applied kinesiology, the Healing Hands Chiropractic Massager eases “neck strain and muscle tension around the base of the head, just like a real chiropractor.”
In fact, this massage tool was molded from the hands of an actual chiropractor. Lie on your back and in as little as three minutes you can experience therapeutic relief from headaches, eye strain, or insomnia.
3. Fake Makeup Massagers by Touch-Up. Looks like lipstick or a bottle of nail polish, but – it’s actually a little portable massage tool!
Hey, you never know when you’ll need a stealth massage when you’re on the go. Plus, you’ll never again need to explain to anybody why you carry around a tiny vibrator in your purse or pocket.
4. Dental Massage Chair. From the Department of Why Didn’t We Think Of That? comes the modern dental office, complete with wifi headphones and internet connectivity – plus massage chair.
The only downside we see to this “Reese’s cup idea” – (“Two great tastes that taste great together!”) is the mental and emotional conflict that might be created by the anticipation of both a wonderful muscle-relaxing experience and possible excruciating oral pain.
As the world becomes more competitive, service organizations will certainly profit from combining value-adding incentives to the main attraction, like aromatherapy and paraffin wax treatments.
5. Aquarium Massage Table by HydroCo. We’d like to know what the inventor of this contraption was smoking to dream this up: it’s a massage table built over a long aquarium tank so you can lie down and watch the fish while the HydroGlass Hydrotherapy Table soothes you as you lie on its heated mattress with water cascading down from seven Vichy shower-heads.
This hydrotherapy table can create more than one environment, from “the deep ocean, a dry arid desert or even a plush, green tropical rainforest.” Add a suitable soundtrack and escape to another place – in the privacy of your own home.
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The great idea that didn’t make it was a bra with built-in massager from Intimate Health called the “Brassage” – what an awesome name! Unfortunately, claims that the breast massager would eliminate toxins, thereby improving mammary health, were exposed as having no scientific support. The manufacturer has pulled the Brassage from the market, alas.
With all these exciting new health-giving devices designed to relax us physically and spiritually, why not go ahead and indulge a little? You know you deserve it!